Archive for May, 2012

Reconciliation?

Posted: May 16, 2012 in Random
I feel like writing today because I want to, aside from the fact that I’ve got nothing to do today. I want to let out my thoughts starting about something I did yesterday.
I followed her on Twitter.
I don’t know if it’s right thing to do after what I did in the past that somehow, she has been a part of. Awkward it is, after including her on my block lists along with the others who were close to the people that has been the main reason of why I did it. It felt like having them as a part of my life and my routine would only make everything worse. Like they’re all watching my every move and then everything will be like a cycle again – the confrontation, the argument. I just don’t wanna be involved in any fights anymore.
Honestly, I didn’t want to do it. She meant a lot to me, and she still does. Even her mom. I’ve somehow ruined our relationship from being so b*tchy in the past. That one stupid mistake made me ruined my reputation on her, and I guess to her mom also. I assume they both know. But I knew I was wrong. Even if they weren’t for bad intentions, I really am sorry for that. I’ve regret all the things I did and wishing I could still make it up to them. 
I don’t know what has gotten into my head thinking that following her on Twitter will make me patch things up with her and hopefully, can still talk to here like the old times. But half of me knows that it will never gonna happen. But that move makes me hope that I could ask at least for her forgiveness and our relationship moves on to “just” being strangers. I just don’t wanna hold grudges anymore. And believe me or not, I am hoping that someday, I’ll be able to do the same to that person I really have had problems with.
“Time heals all wounds.”, as everyone says. I just hope it’ll work for me, for us.
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A little too overwhelmed.

Posted: May 10, 2012 in Random
Just a random post for random feeling.
I hate to say this, I don’t know. But I think that I kinda have the feeling of regret for something that I just recently turned down. Yes, work related. I’m not sure of this feeling though. Maybe I’m just too overwhelmed about the things that are happening around me. Or maybe I’m just too scared that I might not find a BETTER job than what was offered. You see, I’m a fresh graduate. And I think being offered by a great job on such situations like me is at the very least percentage. Ayokong mabakante ng matagal. Though a lot of people say that there are still better things for me, I can’t help not to be scared. No one’s pressuring me but I feel all the pressure. My negativity has already taken over me.
The only thing that I am holding on to is my faith in God. 

Oh Lord, help. 😦 *le sigh

Work Insanity

Posted: May 7, 2012 in Random

I was browsing my Tumblr when I saw this on my dash that struck me the most. 
WARNING: For long, unnecessary story haters, you may skip the story-telling part. Proceed to the last paragraph. And for those who wants to here my boring, non-pro writing, here’s the story.
***
A few weeks ago, I was checking my account on Jobstreet for some posts that I could apply for work. I immediately saw this post searching for an Industrial Engineer at Megaworld Corporation. I hesitated to apply on the position at first because I was too lazy to update my resume on Jobstreet. But this company has kept on recurring and I already had this eagerness to apply for work. So I applied and answered a short essay as for their requirement. 
The next morning, I found a text saying that they considered my application for an exam and that I should go to their office the following day. I was in shock. I didn’t expect that it would be that fast. Nevertheless, I went to Makati to take the exam.
I was clueless on how to get there. But with a few instructions and questions from some jeepney drivers, I was able to get there safely.
I came in past seven. I answered a few information about me and some essay and took the exam. After an hour, I was asked to take my lunch first then come back around one o’clock for the initial interview. There was restau or food chain nearby so I walked so far just to find a place to eat. Luckily, I found Mcdo. I should have just taken a jeep. I stayed there for hours then went back to the World Centre at around twelve. 
The employees had their lunch break. It was already 1 pm and the HR hasn’t called me yet. Until around 2pm, she asked me to come and wait for Bambi for my second interview.
That second interview was the best interview I had in my entire life. SERIOUSLY. Ms. Bambi’s the coolest. We talked like we were really friends. Never been more comfortable around any interviewer. After it, she thought that maybe I could be interviewed by the AVP (not sure if it’s really avp) so I could decide already. But the avp has already made an appointment so she decided to reschedule it some other time.
Yes. I wasn’t given an exact date on when to come back. 
A week passed and I still haven’t heard from the company. My friends who applied after me were also called for an interview. Then another week passed, and still no sign. While the others are called for their second interview and asked again to take an exam. That time, I knew I won’t be called for the final interview. So I moved on.
Until this Saturday, in the midst of my terrible sickness, I saw 2 missed calls from Megaworld and a text from Ms. Bambi. She was asking me to call her Monday morning because they considered my application. Again, I was in shock. Even my uncle was in shock too, because Ms. Bambi called him and texted me the same right after. 
To tell you honestly, I was half excited and half not. Excited because this could be the work that I’ve been praying for. And not, because the position offered is for Technical Assistant since it’s the only job opened according to them and the salary is not that good though I’m not that sure.
So I called earlier and was able to talk to Ms. Bambi. She told me to wait for a call within the day to set a meeting with the AVP. I was in Lipa and still in not-that-good condition but I immediately went home to Carmona to change. I got there around 2pm as agreed.
Ms. Madie told me to wait for Ms. Katie (?) for the job offering. And that moment I knew that I already got the job. After some time, Ms. Katie called me and discussed the salary as well as the benefits. I had my second thoughts about the job. OMG! LUGI, byahe pa lang. Parang hindi pang-Makati ang rate nila. I estimated my overall expenses plus the minus from the benefits and in my most matipid state, I could only save up around 6k-7k, max. NOT PRACTICAL. When she asked me if I’m taking the job, I immediately said if I could decided anytime soon this week. She told me that, I can decide until tomorrow afternoon. But I’m thinking of not taking the job. I don’t know. But all of my uncles and aunties tell me not to. Humanap ng course-related at ng lugar na mas malapit.
’nuff of the story. 
They say I should NOT be choosy when it comes to work. But others say that they know I deserve more. “May pinagaralan ka, Tin. Nag-IE ka, as much as possible dapat pang-IE din kunin mo.”, as they always say. I’m thinking of letting it go but I’m not sure if it’s is right. I don’t know if this is ALREADY a good opportunity or just a typical job. I don’t know if I should prioritize course related over experience or vice versa. I don’t know if I have already waited long enough that I shouldn’t let this opportunity pass by or I this was just an urge of desperation because I don’t know if I can still be employed in a good company. I’m weird, pessimist, lack self-confidence, I know. I always think of the worst and super nega. But I don’t know what else to think anymore. I’m totally panicking from all the pressure around me. And actually, I don’t know how to decide for myself since I’ve lived all my life having someone to decide for me. I’ve lived all my life always thinking about what others are going to say first rather than what I want. The bottom line is, I don’t really know what I want. All I know is that I’m dying to have a work but I’m also waiting for work that I deserve BETTER


I just hope it’s not it. 

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Posted: May 7, 2012 in Random

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SHIFT

Posted: May 2, 2012 in Random

Hello! It’s been awhile since I last posted a personal blog in here. I had been busy “constructing” my personal website. It’s halfway done and will release it anytime soon. It’ll be an easier source of to where you can find and follow me as well as know about my thoughts, updates, rants, ramdom stuffs and whatever things.

For my random posts and writings about private stuffs, I’ll keep ’em posted in here.

I’ll promise to update this blog once in a while but I GUESS I’ll be mostly active on my Facebook, Tumblr and Twitter account.