Posted: June 2, 2012 in nega, Personal

The only time I am in the mood to right something is either when I feel posi or nega. Get? Well, my current mood is negative and I have no one to talk to/ I don’t want to talk about this to the person involved. So readers, brace yourselves for some midnight drama.

Let me start this with a bio on Twitter: “I am a spy and more than what meets the eye.” Tonight, again out of nowhere, I had this not-so-new-feeling of tamang hinala. Well, if that’s what you’re gonna call it. But I don’t want to elaborate the story of how I came across to this feeling again anymore. It just so happened tonight, while I was doing my “refresher”.  
“I AM A SPY.”, and I have been paid for this job again tonight.  I searched for possible reasons to make me think that I was wrong. But all the possible evidences are constantly being slapped on my face. All the things I see were possibly related. Take note, POSSIBLY. Those were just evidences that have also been used before in, well let’s just say, the same cases before. I didn’t just got it caught in the act.
Like the other days like this, I suddenly lost my desire for reviewing. Obviously, I wasn’t in the mood, more like pissed. I immediately confronted the person involved regarding the issue through some cross examination. But as expected, he has no idea of what I was talking about. I checked some accounts, files were deleted. Everything is clean. No traces of evidences or whatsover. It felt like that person already knows that I will check his accounts. And that got me even more pissed. All I think about is, if the person isn’t hiding something, then why would the files (activities) were deleted? But there’s nothing I could do anymore. He got smarter than I am since I was doing the same tactics before. So I decided to let it go.
I let it go because I’m tired of asking the same questions all over again. I’m tired of thinking about the same case that I think will never be resolved. Even though I see evidences that could possibly prove me right, I don’t think I still have the strength to do it all over. I remembered a line from a movie that I just recently watched, “Mahirap hanapin ang itinatago.”. No matter how much I search for the truth, if the person who only knows it won’t spill it, it will never be revealed. 
That’s why I came to this realization of why waste time for some stupid issue, right? It could only eat up all that I am now and what I’m gonna be. I’m tired of this shizz. I’m sick of losing my focus thinking about the same issues and same people I have been dealing with before. If the person won’t tell the truth, then so be it! I don’t give a damn anymore. I’d rather spend my time in making myself in becoming a better person in the future. And besides, I trust what is planned for me. I just have to wait for the better, for something better. 
Oh, and by the way. If I have been immature in dealing this, then I now make sure that I’ll be mature enough to not think of this and just let it go. If there is something that  I’m not aware of, then it’s okay. I know it will be revealed. Time will reveal.
And that my friend is the end. I rest my case.

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