I want it that I don’t…

Posted: June 15, 2012 in Random
Tags: ,

Another good news has come. But I wasn’t so sure if it was really for me, if I deserve it, if I wanted it or this is just like the other opportunities that passes by.

To tell you honestly, I happy to heard the news because this one’s another opportunity for me – and I might have a step forward to the advantage. But at the same time, I’m having second thoughts of whether to try this or not. I’m not saying that I will be able to get that, but taking it wouldn’t satisfy me knowing there could be a lot of consequences the moment I try it. If I’ll be able to make it, I don’t think I can handle the pressure, the expectation, the work itself understanding that you are not the priority. It will feel like a competition when I take it. I just don’t wanna live in that.

I don’t know why this thing is happening right now. I don’t know if this is God’s will and maybe the answers to my questions on why until now I don’t have work, or maybe just to test my strength. But whatever this is, I’m still confused.

The story’s crazy and so is my mind. I don’t want to elaborate things for now. But the bottom line here is, I want it that I don’t. I just hope in time I could combine all these mixed up puzzles in my life just like this random post. I don’t know. I just can’t think straight right now. Sorry.

Be back for updates. Kbye.

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