Archive for the ‘Random’ Category

BABALA: MAGULO ANG SEQUENCE.

I never thought I will feel offended, rant and cry over some sick stupid joke by some insensitive people today.

But before I continue, I just want to say that what I’m about to write doesn’t totally define who I really am. This is just a result of being in a roller coaster of emotions, feeling of the offended and yeah, PMS-ing. WANT TO RANT, because I wanna feel better. BIAS to.So, NO JUDGING.

I don’t want to tell you the details of what happened just before I leave the office. But I tell you, what happened earlier was over the limit. BUT, If you are one of those who already know the exact story, you may take my side because you really believe that it was really offensive or you many not and think that I was just being too emotional, immature or whatever.

Let me get this straight. You see, you always put a competition to the story even if the characters don’t want to. Who wanted this kind of set up? Did I chose this? Did I decided for eveyone to be like this? NO. Because even before we knew, it was already the plan! Kung bitter ka sa pupuntaha mo, wag mo kong idamay! To the point na ipapahiya mo ko sa harap pa ng taong kabolahan mo! You may say it was just a joke, but they way you said it in front of us, I knew you meant something.

I get italready, okay? Even before this thing happened. Pero hindi mo na kailangan ipamukha sakin na ikaw yung gusto, na ikaw yung paborito! it wasn’t a big deal to me the way she appreciates you, pero was that joke necessary? Hindi naman ako nakikisawsaw eh. What do you want? what do you need to hear pa? What do you me to feel? Na they will regret the fact that they will lose you over me? Na importante ka at kahit anong gawin ko, I will never replace you in their lives. WELL, FINE! Oo na! Ikaw na! Walang umaagaw sa kanya!

PRESSURE. Hindi pa nga nangyayari at wala pa akong napapatunayan o nagagawa pero parang talo na kagad na ko. Like There was no place for me.

Kung pwede lang kumontra sa lahat ng decisions na nangyayari, matagal ko nang ginawa. But like I said, that was the plan.

STRIKE 2 ka na sa pagka-insensitive mo eh.

I’m fucking tired of this feeling of competition. All my life I have always been trying to prove myself to everyone. Bata pa lang and until now, I am still doing the same. That I need to be best in school because I was with the best students. That I need to join the council just to get noticed.That I can finish college clean even if I’m was in a relationship when everyone predicts you cannot. That I can do household chores when I really can do but other say I can’t do or don’t know how.

I am easily discouraged.
I’m trying. But when I fail, I stop.
That’s who I am.

No one believes in me.
Because for them, what I did was not enough.
So para sakin, what’s the point of trying again?
Eh yung napatunayan mo na na, pero wala paring tiwala sayo.
Suicidal alng diba?

Tao lang ako, hindi ako perpekto.

Nakakapagod din.

Oo, iisang anak nga ako. Pero yung pakiramdam ko parang may isang dosena akong kapatid na kailangan laging maging bestpara lang mapansin at maging paborito ng magulang.

Tapos eto, you always put a competition to everything. I NEVER WANT TO COMPETE. But it seems like you always bring it to the table.

Why can’t I just be accepted for who I am? For what I can only do? For what I’m not good at?

I just want piece. I just want to work without unhealthy pressure inside my head.
Yun lang naman eh.

Pero that’s life. Bukod sa life is unfair eh, you can’t please everybody.

Tinatamad na ko. Kasi medyo nalabas ko na kanina. Pero siguro kung kanina ko nasulat mo, baka medyo mas maintindihan nyo.

Kbye.

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RANT.

Posted: September 1, 2012 in Random
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Hey, just so you know. I’m getting tired of this, of you. SRSLY, you’re losing all of my patience. Kung di mo kayang panindigan yung pinasukan mo, ‘wag mo nang ituloy. Napaka-inconsistent lang ng performance mo. This is just gonna be a waste of time. KBAI.

From a MAN’S POINT OF VIEW. A must read. :)

Posted: September 1, 2012 in Random
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“Ang mga babae, madaldal/mabunganga.” Oo, wala talagang tigil ang bibig nila sa pag-rachada sa kakasalita. Lalo na sa tuwing pinapaalala nila sayo na oras na para inumin ang iyong gamot, kapag nagtatanung sila kung kumain ka na ba, kapag ginising ka nila sa umaga upang hindi ma-late at sa mga pagkakataon na nag-aalala sila sayo at tinatanung kung nasaan ka na at bakit hindi ka pa umuuwi. Walang duda, madaldal nga. Hayaan mo na, balang araw, siguro magbabago din sila. Tipong maririnig mo lang ee “Oo”, “Hinde” at “Pwede”. Para kayong naglalaro ng Pinoy Henyo. Romantic siguro ng buhay nyo nun.

“Ang mga babae, mashadong sentimental.” Sinabi mo pa. Tandang tanda nga nila ang petsa at lugar kung saan kayo unang nag-date, isinulat niya din sa kanyang diary kung ano ang mga ginawa ninyo, nakatago at ingat na ingat siya sa mga larawan nyong dalawa, daig pa niya ang Smithsonian sa pag-aalaga ng mga iniregalo mo at kahit kailan hindi niya nalilimutan ang mga importanteng okasyon tulad ng anniversary, monthsary, weeksary o birthday mo. Nakaka-inis ba? Ok lang yan, malay mo next time, hindi na siya ganun. Tipong i-aasa na lang niya sa Facebook ang iyong kaarawan. Tapos tamang post na lang sa wall mo ng “hapi bday”.

“Ang mga babae, emosyonal.” They cry about movies. They get teary with a romantic novel. They blush and gasp upon seeing a picture of a cute dog or a cuddly baby. Bakit ba ganun sila? Buti na lang tayo hindi. Kinikimkim lang naten lahat ng emosyon sa loob hanggang sa sumabog at atakihin sa puso o di naman kaya ee magpapakalasing tapos magwawala at maghahamon ng wrestling. Di ba mas logical un? Madalas pa mag-imagine na ikakasal kayo sa simbahan. Lagi nag a-iloveyou, imissyou, take care at mwah mwah sa text. Asar ka na ba at nacocornyhan? Ayos lang yan. Darating din siguro ang time na titigil siya at isesend ang mga un sa iba.

Women are probably the greatest gift to men, from God, beside beer and sizzling sisig. At para sken, women deserve all advantages, lalo na sa pag-ibig. Sana lahat ng babae ay maging masaya ang lovelife. Sana, walang babaeng heart-broken, kasi, tayong mga lalake, we’re meant to pursue them and it’s okay if we fail from time to time. It’s the way nature intended it. Gaya ng isang leon sa usa o pag-ikot ng earth sa paligid ng araw. Mas okay kung tayo na lang ung masasaktan. Ee sila? Isipin mo, nagkakaroon sila ng “dalaw” at nababaliw kada buwan, nabubuntis at nahihirapan ng 9 months, at pinaka matindi sa lahat, kailangan pa nilang panatilihing makinis at walang buhok ang kanilang mga kili-kili. Ano ba namang pasayahin sila at gawing “scar-free” ang kanilang buhay pag-ibig.

And if you are with a great gal, do everything to make her happy. Don’t ever break her heart. Wag kang magpa-uto sa mga statistics, na nagsasabing, mas marami ang babae sa lalake, kaya okay lang mang-chiks. Ano pa bang gusto mo? Hindi pa ba sapat na minahal ka niya sa kabila ng iyong pagiging engot at kawalan ng Romantic DNA sa katawan? Malaki man ang populasyon nila sa mundo, napaka-liit ng tsansang makakilala ka ulet ng katulad niya na magtya-tyaga sayo. 

Today,

Posted: August 28, 2012 in Random
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I realized, not everything is about you and me.

Posted: August 28, 2012 in Random

Been there. 😉

Abnormality

Posted: August 28, 2012 in Random
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I talk a lot. I do. Especially nowadays.

But I guess that’s the effect of listening to your friends’ stories, you giving advice to heartbroken people and not being able to talk to anyone for the whole day. 

I share every thing I’ve learned, heard and realized even if they’re not about me. 

And now I am alarmed. Everyone’s been asking me if I was okay, or if there’s something wrong. Thank you for the concerns. But yes, I’m okay. I’m perfectly okay. 🙂 I may be stressed at times but that is nothing to be serious about. Of course, everyone struggles because of some difficulties in life. But that’s not for you to know. But I assure you, I’m super okay.

I just got carried away by everyone’s stories to the point that I feel for them too much. Plus the fact of my overwhelming work, family issues and no social life. That’s all. Nothing more, nothing less. 🙂

Lesson: KEEP YOUR PRIVACY. Don’t share too much. Nami-misinterpret. 😉

Manhole?

Posted: August 25, 2012 in Random
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Last night, I couldn’t help but cry even if I enjoyed the day so much. All the things that upset me went together – work, home, etc. Physical and emotional torture at its extremes.

Masakit eh. Ngayon ko na nararamdaman. At eto ako, hindi makawala. Eto na yung sinasabi nila.

Why do we always want what we can’t have? Am I not good enough to deserve it? To deserve you?

 

*le sigh

An open letter to God.

Posted: August 21, 2012 in Random
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Lord, I need wisdom.

I am praying for the same thing and same reasons that I prayed for years ago. I’m into this kind of situation again and just like before, my mind’s going crazy. I still don’t know how to decide for myself. It’s a battle between my mind and my heart once again and yes, I admit, I am blinded by what I feel.

I am so scared of making choices, of making decisions which I am not so sure of. I never want to make any regret. But of course, it’s impossible. I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes all over again. But as to what I see now, I am drawn into something that I want and then I don’t.

 

I don’t know why this is all happening or what your plans are for me. But if it’s Your Will, I’ll follow. Help me make the right choices, Lord. I know you only want what’s best for me. Just let me know which path to take. 

Thank you, Lord. I love you. 🙂

I was struck by my auntie’s question after dinner about what happened today. 

One of my best friends (I prefer him not to call him ex) asked me if how are we in here. I did the same thing since nasa Manila siya and bumaha din sa kanila sa Batangas before. Glad they were okay. Ayun, kwentuhan lang. To make the story short, I was talking to him through phone when tita entered the room. Of course, he was aware that tita was there and ayun, kinamusta nya. Shempre, na-shock si tita. I can see it in her eyes. Malamang, ex ko yun and naguusap kami which everyone thinks na unusual. Though I think she knows naman na okay talaga kami and naguusap parin kahit di madalas. 

The conversation wasn’t that long. Bumaba narin ako. Tita didn’t asked me about that this morning, until after dinner.

Tita: Bakit napatawag sayo si J?

Me: Wala lang. Kamustahan. Haha. Confidant ako nun eh.

Tita: Ahh, akala ko bumabalik

Me: Haaa? NOOOO! Haha. Ang tagal na eh. Best friends lang talaga kami.

Tita: Ah, may girlfriend na siya?

Me: Oo ah. Matagal na kaya. Haha.

Tita: At least okay kayo. Okay din kasi paghihiwalay nyo no? Yung iba kasi eh, pag nagbreak, wala na. Di mo na magawang maging kaibigan.

Me: Oo nga po. Matino kasi kami. Hahaha. Walang bitterness.

 

I know some people may think na this isn’t possible, na plastikan lang or may something pa. Pero hindi talaga, matagal ng tapos at naayos na lahat samin. We’re super okay gaya lang ng dati nung magkabarkad kami. That’s what you get when your relationship started with friendship. Maghiwalay man kayo, the friendship still remains. Sobrang dami lang naming napagdaanan, okay parin lahat. I just got lucky, too, kasi sobrang mabait talaga ‘tong taong tao (kahit madalas pasaway). He respects anyone he is with and he’s someone you’ll treasure your friendship with.

Kaya, who says ex-lovers can’t be the best of friends?

Love Talks: Couldn’t Agree More

Posted: August 5, 2012 in Random

1. “Ang mag-assume, TALO (kahit 2% pa yan).”

2. “Kung ayaw may DAHILAN, kung gusto may PARAAN.”

3. “Wag masyado magpadala sa text.”

4. “BACK OFF (as in back off) sa mga IN A RELATIONSHIP, kahit saan anggulo mo tingnan, ikaw pa rin ang mali.”

5. “Never borrow someone else’s man/girl. If he/she cheated with you, he’ll/she’ll cheat on you.”

6. “Hayaan mo siyang gawin yung gusto niyang gawin. Buhay niya yun, hindi mo maco-control. As long as alam niya yung limitations niya.”

7. “Take it slow. Steady lang.”

8. “Maniwala sa IT’S COMPLICATED na status. Hindi lang chenes yan.”

9. “Learn to LET GO kung alam mong wala na talaga.”

10. “Keep your DIGNITY.”

11. “If a man/woman wants you, nothing can keep him/her away. If he/she doesn’t want you, nothing can make him/her stay.”

12. “Wag magselos sa siblings and relatives ng boyfriend/girlfirend mo.”

13. “Ang QT (quality time), at least 5 hours lang per week.”

14. “Don’t revolve your life around him/her. Learn to be independent.”

15. “Hindi dahilan ang TIME.”

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